More broken promises...

It's been nearly a year since my last post. Not too shabby. Do I know how to keep promises to myself or what?

I'll skip over making any new promises and just jump right back into this thang.

Topic of the day - online dating. It's a thing I'm trying. And it's weird.

I suppose I should have expected the mixed bag of oddballs that I've so far encountered online.I mean, let's look at the requirements to join the particular site I did:

1. Have a computer
2.

Oh, wait. That's it.

So, based on the merit criteria alone, I should have lowered my expectations way, way down. But being blindly optimistic about the quality of single men on the internet, I kept the bar slightly above 'scuzzy homeless man who eats his own snot' level.

Bad decision.

Of course I'd heard the stories about dating online. "No one is who they seem", "Guys are just on there for one thing", "Only desperate people go online to find relationships". etc, etc. But, no, It was going to be different for me. I would be able to spot the creeps, the midgets and the lonely men with doll collections. I wouldn't get hooked up with the weirdos. I convinced myself that my online men-screening filter was flawless. I was destined to meet 'the one' online---on a site named after the abundance of gill-bearing aquatic animals in this world.

Was I wrong?

That remains to be seen. However, regardless of the outcome of this venture, I am learning a lot about the parallel universe that is virtual dating.

First observation?

Online dating is a lot like being drunk. People look fuzzy, moral standards are non-existent and old fat men always think they have a shot.

I suppose it makes sense that hiding behind a computer screen gives one a false sense of courage (again-kind of like hiding behind 13 shots of tequila) but come on, am I really going to date you Mr. fifty-five year-old man with receding hair-line and 17 cats? Not likely.

Online daters, men and women alike, need to realize that online eventually turns into reality, again, kind of like how being drunk turns into a hangover. People wake up (meet in person), realize all is not what it seems (your pictures are from five years and fifty pounds ago) and more often than not, throw up.

Stay tuned for more insightful lessons from my virtual dating life...